


you don’t have to say i love you

by camdotcom



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: A little angst??, Emotions, M/M, Really cute, literally just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 04:10:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21313963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camdotcom/pseuds/camdotcom
Summary: they have problems, that’s for sure. baz needs to address that. simon is a little less enthusiastic about it.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	you don’t have to say i love you

SIMON

"We can't keep this up forever."  
I'm laying face down on the couch when Baz walks in, my wings spilling over the sides. Penny insists I spell them shut, but Baz doesn't care and Penny isn't home. It feels good to have them out, anyway.   
The tv is on, and I'm not sure what's playing anymore. Some old movie.   
"Keep what up?" I ask, and I can feel Baz bristle from across the room. He hates when I act dumb, even though I genuinely don't know what he's talking about.   
"This," he says. I sit up and grab the tv remote, turning it off. I pat the cushion next to me for Baz. He still looks pissed, but he gives and walks the few feet to the couch.  
"Simon," he starts as he sits down, and I can already feel the nerves bunched up in my stomach. He's wearing a dark grey long sleeved shirt and jeans, and he's rarely looked so casual. He could walk around London with hardly a second glance.   
"I think," he says nervously, "that we should talk."  
"About?"  
"About us."  
And for a second I think he wants to break up with me. This is it, this is really it.   
But this is the git who's been in love with me since first year, and I don't think any amount of me being a terrible boyfriend could change that.   
"I don't think," he says, and he's so hesitant it hurts. "I don't think I've told you that I love you. Really, truly. And I can't keep holding hands and kissing and sleeping next to you without addressing all of the shit that's happened in the past year."  
I flinch at that. He sees it.   
"Simon, I don't mean—"  
"No, I get it. I really do." He's sitting so close, and it's like those first days where we had to be so careful. I couldn't touch him. We were in front of other people. But now that there's no one here, why do I still feel like that? "A lot of shit has gone down. Some of it's been my fault. I won't deny that."  
I swallow. Baz is looking at me expectantly. I don't know what to say. 

BAZ

I've no idea what he's going to say. I just hope he doesn't blame himself. It was bad enough after the Humdrum and the Mage. I can't have him doing it all over again.   
I don't think I could take that. I don't think he could.   
"I'm sorry, Baz," he says, and he breaks my heart all over again. He's talking so soft, and I'd kiss him if I wasn't the one who brought this up.   
"I'm sorry that I've been such a terrible boyfriend." He's looking down at his hands, so I take them in mind. His face goes red. "I know that's kind of what you signed up for. But you–you deserve better than what I gave you."  
"Absolutely not." He looks up and meets my eyes, confused. "I signed up for you. I signed up for all of you, no matter what that means. I chose you last time and I'll do it again and again. 

SIMON

I'm going to cry. I feel like I'm going to cry just about every time Baz is like this, but it's different this time.   
"You're the sun," Baz says, and I remember the first time he said it to me. I suppress a smile, but I can tell by the look in Baz's eyes that it's not working. "I just need to know that you care about us as much as I do."  
"Of course," I reply. He's holding my hands very tightly, but his grip loosens when I say that. "I mean, this could still end in flames. But not yet. Not for a long while."  
And now I think Baz is tearing up. He'd never admit it, of course, but a manly tear is definitely trying to escape.   
"You told me, way back at the Leavers Ball. You told me that you chose me." I think I say it to convince myself it's true. It really happened. My lifelong nemesis, now my boyfriend. I still can't believe it. "I never told you back."  
"Simon?"  
"Baz."  
He swallows, and I think about watching his neck to make him nervous. But I keep my eyes on his. A year ago and I certainly would have. But I guess we’re both new men.  
"Baz, I choose you."

**Author's Note:**

> apparently i’m actually unable to write anything that isn’t disgustingly cute. also sorry this is so short?? also also this is unedited so sorry for that too


End file.
